(Please scroll down for English below)
Omelette煎蛋捲
楊佳瑜 著，沈玫 譯。
「雞蛋與香蕉」形容東西混合的人們。雞蛋外白內黃，是擁有白種面孔、亞洲內在；而外黃內白的香蕉，則是擁有亞洲面孔、西方內在的人。
英國朋友艾德跟我講完這個理論之後，說：「我覺得你有點像香蕉了。」這句話在我響起一計沉重的警鐘，難道我正在慢慢失去身為台灣人、身為華人的本質嗎？
這一年來看著自己的轉變，從一開始參加派對默默坐在一旁，英國人之間的交談只聽得懂一兩成，到現在可以跟不同口音的人用英文共事，甚至有英國人以為我是擁有英國籍的華僑，只因為我的英文沒有什麼外國腔。
現在的我，可以用英文流暢的表達思緒，但還是常常用錯文法。我發現自己慢慢地不再背新單字、不再熱衷於學到新的英文的成就感。我的英文真的這麼好了嗎？其實不然，我是下意識害怕花太多的時間接觸外語，會日漸失去母語底子。於是我不再逼自己每天讀英文文章，而是多加閱讀中文書籍與文章。
不只是語言能力，在異鄉居住一年，整體思維模式都有改變。我必須使用他們的邏輯、遵守他們的遊戲規則、模擬他們的思路和他們周旋。時間久了，我也害怕回台灣會適應不良。我會不會改變太多？
Mitchell 是印尼華裔荷蘭人，他說：「照這個邏輯，我就是香蕉囉？但我根本不在乎，我是荷蘭人，但不是荷蘭的荷蘭人，我也不是印尼人，更不是中國人。我比較像煎蛋捲 (Omelette) 吧！蛋白跟蛋黃混在一起，兩方各取其優，配上起司、培根、其他配料，這就是我。」
不愧是愛吃鬼，用食物舉例，立刻讓我豁然開朗。何必劃分那麼清楚呢？何必在意別人的眼光呢？一路走來的經歷成就今天的我，不屬於英國、也不完全屬於台灣。就像 Simon 是義大利與英國混血，我問他覺得自己比較義大利還是比較英國？他說：「我是世界公民 (world citizen)。」雖然就我的眼光來看，他還是十足的英國人，但重點是他的選擇：把眼光放大，當一個世界公民。
我的確有時候講中文會忘記一些詞，有時候怎麼樣都想不起烈陽下炙熱的感覺，但這不代表忘本。我的根就是在台灣，但是把枝葉伸展到不同地方吸取值得學習的精華。下一站會飛到哪？旅程就是要充滿未知才令人期待！
不要害怕改變，勇敢的吸取新知，擁抱多樣性，創造出獨一無二的 Omelette 吧！
Omelette
Written by Nathalie Yang, translated by Rosie Seville.
‘Eggs and Bananas’ is used to describe people of mixed Eastern and Western descent. Eggs are white on the outside and yellow inside, like those who appear white but consider themselves Asian; whereas, Bananas, yellow on the outside and white on the inside, are people who look Asian, but feel like Westerners on the inside.
After my English friend, Ed, had explained this to me, he said “I think you’re kind of a Banana now”. This comment sounded alarm bells with me: could it be that I am slowly losing my essential identity of being a Taiwanese person and a Chinese speaker
I look back at my transformation over the past year, from sitting quietly in the corner at parties and only understanding a small proportion of what British friends were saying, to now being able to work with people with all kinds of different accents, even being mistaken for a British-born person of Chinese descent because I speak English without much accent.
These days I can use English fluently to express my emotions, but I still often make grammatical mistakes. I’m finding that it’s gradually getting harder for me to remember new words and that I don’t get the same sense of satisfaction from learning English as before. Is my English really that good? In truth, in my subconscious I feel that if I spend too much time on foreign languages, I may gradually lose my mother tongue. I no longer force myself to read English articles every day and instead read more Chinese books and articles.
It’s not only my linguistic ability: living far away from home for a year, my whole way of thinking has changed. I have to use British people’s logic, respect their rules and follow their line of thought when interacting with them. I’m also afraid that if I spend a long time here, I will have trouble readjusting to life in Taiwan. Have I changed too much?
Mitchell, a Dutch guy with Indonesian Chinese background, says: “According to this logic, am I a banana? Maybe I am, but it doesn’t matter. I’m Dutch, but I’m not a Dutch Dutch, I’m not an Indonesian, and of course I’m not a Chinese. I’m more of an omelette! White and yellow mixed together, both parts adding their own flavour, good with cheese, bacon and other toppings…that’s me.”
No wonder he is such a foodie, because this example made everything suddenly clear to me. Why should we divide everything up so strictly? Why care about what other people see? Now that I have experienced so much of the world, I don’t belong in England, but also don’t entirely belong in Taiwan. It’s just like when I asked Simon, who is half English and half Italian, whether he feels more English or more Italian, he said “I’m a world citizen.” Never mind that in my eyes he seems completely English, the most important thing is his own choice: to open up his horizons and be a world citizen.
When I speak Chinese I actually do forget a few words, and sometimes I can’t recall the feeling of the hot sun on my back, but this doesn’t mean I have forgotten where I come from. My roots are in Taiwan, but the braches and leaves stretch out towards different places, absorbing any essential knowledge worth taking on. Where will my next stop be? Only a journey towards the unknown can truly be exciting!
Don’t fear change, bravely take on new knowledge, embrace diversity and go ahead and make yourself an absolutely unique omelette!
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