每個地方都有習慣用詞，例如：台灣人喜歡說「正」、香港人喜歡說「靚」、英國人喜歡說 ‘lovely’、而我發現法國人喜歡形容女孩子 ‘feminine’。
Every place has its preference in expressions. For instance, when it comes to describe a good looking woman, Taiwanese people say ‘cheng’ (meaning close to ‘looks right’), Hong Kong people say ‘Liang’ (meaning close to ‘shining’), English people say ‘lovely’, and I found out that French people describe woman with the word ‘feminine’.
剛跟若蘭認識時，有一次誇她：「你裙子好多喔，每次都看你穿不一樣的裙子！」
她很認真的說：「我只穿裙子的！當然啦，我運動時還是會穿褲子，但是我平常一定都是穿裙子，一方面絲襪比褲子顯瘦，再來就是，It’s more feminine.」
第一次聽到 feminine 這個用法，我還真不太懂她的意思。我心想：「Female 是女性的意思，feminine 是 female 的形容詞，那意思就是女性的、女性化的，那穿裙子比較『女性化』，這不是當然的嗎？」
Once when we just started meeting each other, I said to Josepha, “You seem to have loads of skirts. You always wear different skirts so far in our meeting!”
She answered seriously, “I always wear skirts or dresses! Of course I do wear trousers for sports, but except for that, I always wear skirts and dresses. The first thing is that I look slimmer with skirt and tights, and more importantly, it’s more feminine.”
This is the first time I heard the term ‘feminine’ used in this way and I was quite confused. I wondered, “Of course skirts are generally more female-like, isn’t obvious?”
我在巴黎一個很有名的墓園 Cimetiere du Père Lachaise 碰上了法國導演Claude Miller 的葬禮。有一個女士看了我很久，我看她的時候她就看向別方、她看我的時候我也轉向別方… 最後終於忍不住，走過去用破法文問她，這是什麼場合？她不會說英文，我的法文也太弱，所以她還幫我找了會說英文的朋友來翻譯。
葬禮絕對是每個文化中，非常重要的儀式，所以我默默地站在一旁，觀察那些法國人的互動、肢體語言、和穿著。
我跟那位女士說：「大家都穿黑色，只有我穿紅色…」
她就笑著說：「沒關係啦，我覺得你很高，而且 très feminine (很有女人味)。」
I happen to bump into the funeral of a French director, Claude Miller, in the famos cemetery Cimetiere du Père Lachaise in Paris. An old lady looked at me for a long time, but looked away when I looked at her, and I did the same as well. Finally I talked to her and asked her what the occasion was for. She does not speak English, and my French is rubbish, so she even found me an English speaker to translate.
No doubt that funeral is very important in every culture. So I stayed by the side, observing French people’s interaction, body language, and wearing.
I said to the lady, “(Pointing other people) Noir, (pointing myself) mais moi, rouge.”
She smiled and said, “(I suppose this is what she meant) Don’t worry! You are very tall (grand), and very feminine (très feminine).”
到了南法鄉下，鄉下的人們的確沒有像巴黎人穿的那麼講究，但是若蘭的媽媽還是穿得非常有氣質，就算上菜市場買菜也是！
觀察了兩天，我終於忍不住替全天下的女性問了很關鍵的問題：「為什麼你們這麼熱愛美食，尤其是甜點，卻還能保持這麼好的身材？」
於是若蘭跟若蘭媽媽就跟我解釋，法國女人相信，要抓住另一半的心，就要一直保持女人味，不管到了幾歲，都要保持女人味！
When it comes to places out of Paris, especially countryside in the Southern France, people do tend to dress-up less than Parisian do. But Josepha’s mother still dresses very elegant, even just to buy some grocery in a local market!
I asked her, “How can you keep yourself in a perfect shape whilst you love food so much, especially desserts?”
So Josepha and her mother explain to me: French women believe that to keep your partner interesting, you must keep feminine! No matter how long have you been together, you must keep feminine!
其實他們原本住在巴黎，後來才搬到鄉下。若蘭媽媽說，鄉下的衣著真的很麻煩，因為煮飯、整理花園菜圃、上菜市場買菜、去朋友家串門子、偶爾去大城市... 這些場合都有不同的需求，但是又總不能一天之內換好幾套衣服，所以她寧可都穿整整齊齊的，永遠不會失禮，永遠不會錯。
她說：「有一些女人搬到鄉下之後，天天都要照顧家園，又很少上街接觸人群，就都穿著方便的休閒服。因為衣服很寬鬆，身材發幅不容易看出來，久而久之身材就走樣了！They’re not feminine anymore! (她們就沒有女人味了)」
(基本上來說，雖然法國人熱愛美食，但他們習慣慢慢吃，把用餐時間拖得很長很長，所以就算吃到有飽足感，食物本身份量也沒有很大，相對攝取的熱量也就沒有那麼高。)
They actually lived in Paris before moved to the countryside. Choosing the right clothes in the countryside can be very tricky. Cooking, gardening, shopping for grocery, meeting people, or visiting big cities… Each occasion requires different outfit, but it’s impossible to change all the time. So she would rather always well-dressed so that she would never embarrassed herself, and never be wrong.
She said, “Some women move from big cities to the countryside. They used to be very feminine and elegant, but since they have to do lots of house work and have less opportunity to meet people, they tend to wear casual and baggy clothes. It’s harder to observe your body with baggy clothes, so they just eventually go pear-shaped. They are not feminine anymore!”
(French people are passionate in food, but they tend to eat very slowly. So even they spend hours on dining, the portion is not necessarily very large.)
之後我們討論到女性主義，這點她們母女有非常精彩的辯論。
若蘭覺得現今社會男女還是不平等的，女性還是有爭取平等待遇的必要；但若蘭媽媽覺得很多女性主義者都把理念走偏了，很多女性為了要強調自己沒有比男性差，就捨棄女裝、模仿男人穿西裝打領帶，久而久之，她們就失去了女人味！她們就不像女人了，她們簡直像男人一樣了！這樣很醜！
When we discussed about Feminism, they hold different opinions toward the topic.
Josepha believes there is still necessity for women to fight for equal opportunity in today’s society; but her mother thinks that many Feminists have been led to the wrong direction. She thinks that in order to emphasise they are no weaker than male, many Feminists wear suits or other outfits that shows power. They are not feminine anymore, they almost look like men! They are ugly!
慢慢的，我找到她們對女人的審美觀重點：女人不一定要很漂亮，但是一定要有女人味！一定要保持身為「女人」的魅力！
法國女人其實妝不濃、沒有戴很誇張的首飾、更不會內搭褲外穿把臀型露出來(英國人會)。巴黎人更妙，不要說微笑、拋媚眼、他們甚至不會跟路人眼神交會！看起來像是拒人於千里之外，但反而更吸引人。
我真的很欣賞也很羨慕她們的風格(台灣男人比較喜歡可愛型或性感型的，而我兩者皆非)，但是也忍不住好奇，法國女人這麼有個性，真不知道她們的男人要怎麼追女人？
After observing French women and actually discuss with them, I figured out their point of valuing women: a woman does not necessarily have to be very beautiful, but she must be feminine! A woman has to keep the charm of being a female!
French women wear quite little make-up, with some but not overly exaggerating accessories, and of course they don’t wear only leggings and tights showing the shape of their hips (which English girls do). Parisian women are even more interesting. Not to mention smile or make seductive eyes with people, they don’t even have eye contacts with people! They seem to be so cold and distant, but somehow so attractive.
I really admire and envy their style (Taiwanese men prefer cute and sexy women which I personally don’t apply to neither the two). But I’m really curious, how do French men approach their women whilst they are so cool and distant?
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